#everything else was horribly executed
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THIS. another thing that’s been on my mind is that these characters are children. Children who are trying to do the right thing, yeah, but still dumb kids making dumb decisions.
Avatar The Last Airbender has children as their main cast, the difference? They’re emotionally mature, or as much as they can be as kids.
I just wish the adults were more competent or more present in this series. Amaya is a fine example of this, heck even Viren is a good example of this. Corvus and Soren felt like joke characters and pushed to the side and treated as such. Heck Aanya has emotional maturity, where does the rest of the child cast get theirs?
Claudia is the only one that can be understood by the audience because of what she says, because of exposition. Not saying excused away, but we can understand that she has been traumatized and manipulated, she’s heavily misguided in her actions.
Some reviews for Season 5 are…let’s say I think they are missing the point.
Reviewer: Most of the problems these characters face is a direct result of them acting like dumbasses.
Me internally: That’s because our heroes ARE dumbasses!
Dumb decisions in and of themselves don’t equal a bad plot line. Intelligent characters making uncharacteristically bad decisions make a bad plot line. It brakes our suspension of disbelief and takes us out of the story.
But it is completely in character for Callum to lose track of time trying to find something to help his friend’s parents.
It is completely character for Ezran to risk the wrath of a pirate to save three baby glowtoads.
These acts are addressed even if they will likely be useful later. Amaya gets annoyed with her nephew, and throws him over her shoulder. Ezran offers up his hand saying that he should lose a hand because he’s the one who stole. They are kids, kids who think like kids.
If Amaya stayed too late looking for something that would help Janai, or Janai stole three hot at cubs, we should call bs. Because they are experienced soldiers who think in terms of casualties and mission priorities. Callum and Ezran are not. Of course they are going to screw up from time to time
#the dragon prince#literally guys they are KIDS#but kids written by adult writers#who gives them plot armor every time they mess up#that’s why I was happy when they let callum mess up#did they let him show that he was upset he messed up?#no#Ezran flipping switches and actually developing a backbone was welcomed#this late in the series however was a mistake#Soren regressed the same way Ezran kind of progressed#not happy about the Soren regression#the main cast was written awfully in the end#what else can you expect from child characters written by bad writers anyway#don’t give your characters so much plot armor to the point where they can’t mess up and do no wrong ever#that’s bad writing#but don’t punish them into oblivion just because they stepped on the wrong blade of grass either#it goes both ways#IM TALKING ABOUT LEOLA#Leola is the only narratively good thing to come out of arc 2#everything else was horribly executed
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I like* AdBell but only when weird and fucked up and not lovey at all. I don't like it when they're genuinely in love and have some semblance of a normal relationship. To me, what they have is barely a relationship at all and certainly not a healthy one. Adler is not a good person and I do not believe he is capable of perceiving Bell as an equal. Therefore, despite the amount I shitpost about it like 99% of AdBell content out there does not appeal to me whatsoever.
#*To say that I “like” any cod relationship or character is difficult because the characters are all horrible people who if they were real#and if we lived in a just world would be publicly executed for crimes against humanity#yes the includes Mason and Woods.#You cannot be in the cia and be a good person.#Please do not take this post as an admonishment you can like what you want IDC#End of the day to me Adler & Bell do not love each other#Whatever they have is born the imprinting and everything else bell was put through and Adler's desire to possess and control Bell#They do not love each other and are not capable of loving each other as is normal#I don't want them to kiss I want one to kill the other in an act that ultimately means rhe survivors death aswell.
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i don’t have words about this other than “i figured out what savior does and it’s that he snatched a gravity generator from some iterator or another and refuses to give it back”
so basically he can float sometimes and also levitate other critters. aka most of the things he does in canon already. why does the generator look like that? idk bro i just wanted to keep the halo design
#rain world#madness combat#slugcat#hank j wimbleton#2bdamned#jebediah christoff#mc deimos#mc sanford#ok that’s enough scugposting for now i should draw something else lmao#also yes i very hate the saint#nice gameplay design and concept#HORRIBLE execution#i’m still mad about their storyline#sorry how did you fuck up the entire damn EVERYTHING#worldbuilding lore and general vibes#fucking homestuck^2 ass slugcat#saint’s campaign goes against every theme of the game and every preestablished piece of info we are given too!!!#don’t even get me started on the echo bullshit!!!#aaaaaaughhhhhhhh
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...
#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload?#me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃#listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook#i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort#to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop#being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol#i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like#let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and#make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works#ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil#ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations#bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess#its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively#health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by#medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary.#like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think#of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf#my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its#bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror#when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the#most me coded character to ever exist#unrelated
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I think it’s important that we talk about Swansea and how he’s VERY MUCH SO meant to be a foil to Jimmy.
While Swansea comes off as grouchy, abrasive, and stubborn, the biggest thing about his character is that he’s HONEST. Brutally so. Meanwhile, Jimmy basically lies through his teeth to both himself, and everyone else, from the first moment we meet his character.
Swansea comes off as stubborn, as if he doesn’t take his coworkers seriously, not because he genuinely looks down on them but because he doesn’t want them to get hurt. While he does see Daisuke as just this naive young adult, we learn in the execution scene that he doesn’t necessarily see that as a bad thing. He wants Daisuke to retain that light that he lost as grew to become grizzled and exploited.
Swansea knows he’s good at his job and so he TAKES RESPONSIBILITY by making sure HES the only one doing the dangerous work. Because he doesn’t WANT to push it onto someone else and get them hurt. Meanwhile, again, Jimmy basically manipulates Daisuke into sacrificing himself all so Jimmy can make sure Curly isn’t dead in medical. (While not even caring what Anya does to herself)
Daisuke is basically Swansea’s “Curly” if that makes sense. There are multiple lines of dialogue that hint to him saving the pod for him, to give him the best chance of survival. However, when he gets horrible injured in the vent, instead of FORCING HIM TO STAY ALIVE in tons of pain (like Jimmy did w/ Curly throughout the whole game) he ends his life BECAUSE he cares about how Daisuke feels and not just how HE feels. Cause we all know Jimmy keeps Curly alive for very selfish reasons.
After everything, Swansea is extremely honest about who he is. The type of person he was and is and could’ve been. The mistakes he’s made, the things he actually cares about, even if they’re flawed or unhealthy. Meanwhile, even then, Jimmy continues to deny what he is and what is intentions are and what he really wants. He CONTINUES to refuse to take any sort of responsibility even when Swansea says to his face that he already sees past it.
Swansea is basically the narrative opposite of Jimmy, while also, funnily enough, kinda being used as a red herring at first. I mean, he’s the fat angry alcoholic old guy who carries an axe everywhere so ofc you’d expect him to be the bad guy. The story even shows you him trying to kill Jimmy/the player without context, to further sort of bait ur expectations. When in reality, he’s the one who saw Jimmy for what he really was before anyone else really did.
#mouthwashing#Mouthwashing spoilers#Swansea#Jimmy#Daisuke#anyywaaays Swansea ily Swansea#he’s my best friend and I will NOT stand for any slander
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hiii !! may seem a bit basic, but chuuya picks up reader after a stressful day at work with his motorcycle fluff and smut 👾.
thank you, u're the best !!
୨ৎ❀ hey, there’s nothing wrong with simple! i appreciate you sending me a suggestion ♡ it's been awhile since we've visited my fave ill-tempered redhead anyway and he deserves all the attention ୨ৎ❀ fluff. smut. deep throating. praise. rich-boyfriend!chuuya x fem!reader. quick lil 1.9k word drabble. lemme know whatcha think, luv u ୨ৎ❀
♡ MDNI ♡
Me 'n My Girl 。˚☽
so proud to be in your world, just me and my girl ⋆.˚
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
A warm mid-evening breeze swept through your hair as you stepped out of large doors of your office building and let out a sigh. The smell of petrichor bounced off of the pavement while a light rain cascaded over downtown Yokohama.
Under normal circumstances, it would’ve been your favorite weather, but the stillness of it was just another reminder of the unrelenting storm of anxiety that’d been plaguing your mind all day.
Nothing had really happened. Work went okay. Your commute there was okay. Your coworkers were okay. Your lunch was okay. Everything was seemingly okay, but that's what made it worse. You couldn't pinpoint the source of your discomfort. Couldn't place the blame on any one single thing for making you feel so off. It was a phantom annoyance. A problem that didn't seem to exist to anyone else besides you.
"Shit." you mumbled, feeling your purse slip from your shoulder as it, along everything it was holding, fumbled out of your reach and spilled out into the middle of the sidewalk.
You were halfway down the stairs, your pumps clicking against the concrete when your hand suddenly reached for the railing. The heel of your shoe breaking clean off, almost knocking you completely off balance.
It wasn't the time to cry. You'd made it so far - managed to hold it together for your entire shift and you were finally at the finish line, but your capacity to handle any more minor inconveniences was well beyond its limit. You swallowed down the lump in your throat, unable to fight back the hot, frustrated tears that streamed down your cheeks while you took both of your shoes off and you gathered up your belongings in defeat.
Chuuya rounded the corner not a second too soon, the loud vroom of his engine coming to a gradual halt as he kicked his foot out to put the motorcycle in park before stepping off.
He smoothed down his disheveled hair, his smirk quickly fading the closer he got to you.
"Baby..." he said softly, looking at broken pair of shoes in your hand and the haphazard way your bag had been slung over your shoulder. "What happened?"
"Nothing," You lied, shaking your head. "It's fine."
He knew you too well though. Knew that if he simply nodded and waited a minute, it would pour out of you without him having to pry. He put a hand on your shoulder, letting you avoid his stare until you finally caved.
"Today was just stupid," You sulked, "Everything was horrible for no reason and then my fucking heel snapped and now," You were fighting an uphill battle against your emotions. More tears pricking at your eyes as your gaze caught his. "And now I can't even ride on the back with you because I'm barefoot and everything is ruined."
Even though he hated seeing you get this worked up, he couldn't deny that there was something so fucking cute about how pouty and helpless you became when things didn't go your way. He took pride in knowing that you needed him, that he was the one you relied on to pick up the pieces when life got too stressful.
"Stay here," he said, taking his leather jacket off and draping it around your shoulders. "I'll be right back, okay?"
You nodded at him, watching him tuck his hands into his pockets as he crossed the street. It was easy to forget who he was sometimes. How merciless he could be with other people when he was so gentle and attentive with you. He was a Port Mafia executive who doubled as a golden retriever boyfriend when no one was looking. Calloused and feared by some of the scariest people in Yokohama and yet for some reason, physically incapable of saying no to you.
You wiped your tears away watching him flick his cigarette onto the sidewalk, an unexpectedly large Chanel bag hanging from his wrist.
"C'mere," he said, taking your hand as he led you to the Ducati.
You plopped down on its leather seat with both legs dangling off to one side while he knelt down and opened the bag, sliding a gorgeous pair of black open-toed suede heels onto your feet.
"Gimme the broken ones."
You pulled them out of your purse with a small smile, letting him throw them away in a nearby trashcan before returning back to you. "Better?" he asked.
"You know there's an Adidas store right around the corner?"
He smirked, placing both hands at either side of you, his mouth grazing yours with a whisper. "My girl had a terrible day at work and you expect me to make it worse by buying her cheap shit?"
Your heart fluttered, another slight grin tugging at the corners of your mouth as you breathed in the comforting smell of his cologne. "Your girl is really lucky to have you."
"Yeah, well…" he mused, "I have a feeling she'll be makin' it up to me later.”
⋆.౨ৎ˚.⟡˖ ࣪
The ride back to his house was peaceful with hardly any traffic for a Thursday night.
There was something about being on the back of his motorcycle that made you feel so indescribably close to him. From the way your body pressed against his to the way he'd tell you to hold onto him tighter. You loved the looks people would flash the two of you as you'd speed past them. The butterflies that flooded your stomach each time he'd start to go faster than he should've. Even if he had a bad habit of occasionally breaking the speed limit, you still trusted him entirely. He was well aware of the difference between having a little bit of fun and being reckless and he'd never cross that line when he was with you.
You felt infinitely better by the time you pulled into the garage, carefully letting your legs fall as he shut off the engine. Your bad day felt like a distant memory - your mind now comfortably occupied with the thousand-dollar shoes that were decorating your feet and the way his eyes lit up as he helped you down.
It was hard to process sometimes that he'd been waking up next to you almost every day for the last year and still looked at you like you had put the stars in the sky.
You grabbed his arm before he could make it inside the house, gently pushing him back onto the seat of his bike. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't stop you as you hovered above him and began undoing his belt.
"You always make me feel so good." You whispered, reaching up to let your lips catch his while your hands continued to unbutton his pants. "I wanna return the favor."
You could feel him growing hard as his tongue swirled against yours with fervor. A gloved hand resting on the back of your neck to pull you in closer while you reached for his zipper and freed him from the fabric that was separating the both of you.
He let out a low groan when your palm met the base of his cock, delicately wrapping your fingers around it as you started to move uppp and downnn at just the right pace, earning even prettier noises from him.
His grip tangled into your hair, moving your head to the side so that he could descend down your neck. Kissing and nipping away at your soft skin while you continued to stroke him. His movements were getting harder to control the faster you went, squeezing him so fucking perfectly that he nearly ripped the front of your shirt open.
You let out a small yelp as he roamed across your chest, lightly slipping your nipple between his teeth while his blue eyes travelled up to yours. "Get on your knees for me."
You nodded, keeping your stare locked with his. Your hand still going in the same motion as you repositioned yourself, kneeling in front of him so that your face was front and center with where he wanted you. You pulled his pants down further, your core aching as you obediently slid your tongue along his base.
"Fuck," he hissed, his mouth dropping open at how tantalizingly thorough you were, "God, that feels – hah – that feels… so.... good."
You took your time, coaxing more heady praises out of him as you made your way up his length, letting a generous amount of spit trail down his shaft while your hand held him in place. His pink tip was practically dripping with pre-cum by the time you reached it, begging to have your pretty little mouth wrapped around it.
You smiled against him, looking up at him with doe-eyes before giving in to his body's needs. "It's all mine, right?" You asked, causing him to twitch in your hand.
"All yours." He groaned, doing everything he could to stop himself from shoving your head down onto him. He wanted you so bad it hurt, but even in the midst of his clouded thinking, he was still more concerned about you. If you needed to hear him say it, then that's exactly what he'd do.
"It's all yours, baby." He exhaled. "I'm all yours… Every inch of me is all – fucking...your...s"
His words were quickly taken from him though, stolen by the way you’d flattened your tongue and pressed it firmly against his tip.
You watched his eyes roll back as his hand gripped your hair, the two of you working to find the perfect rhythm.
You loved the breathy noises he made for you. The way his hips thrusted forward while he buried himself into the warmth of your mouth. The feeling of him getting harder with each slurp and squelch that echoed across the garage as you struggled to take the whole thing.
"Keep going." He grunted, still fighting the overwhelmingly feral urge to slam into you. "Doin' so good f'me."
You went as deep as you could, easing him into the back of your throat while your tongue continued to glide across his shaft.
His movements became more frantic, his voice breaking the faster you went. "God – damn..."
You kept up the same unrelenting pace, drool spilling down your chin as your eyes locked with his again.
"Fuck," his moans turned into guttural whimpers, his body thrusting desperately in search of release. "Just like that," he choked out, "just like that, don't – fucking stop, please baby... don't stop, I'm –"
He looked lost, completely entranced by the hold you had over him as a lewd warmth coated the back of your throat. More carnal obscenities pouring from his lips as he slowly regained control over his breathing and pulled out of you.
"Next time –" he panted, helping you to your feet before leaning in to kiss you. "I'm buying you the whole fuckin' store."
⋆.౨ৎ˚.⟡˖ ࣪
#rem writes#bsd smut#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x reader#chuuya nakahara bsd#chuuya smut#bsd fanfic#bungo stray dogs smut#nakahara chuuya x reader#bsd x reader#bsd x reader smut#bungou stray dogs chuuya#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs fanart#bungo stray dogs x reader#bsd#bsd chuuya
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I got the mental image of Leopold as a dad in my mind and now I can't stop thinking about it. He would be such a good dad!!! Like, supportive, doting, playful, protective. Imagine him with a toddler who's just baby babbling away and he's listening with full attention and eye contact. Gahhh! I want to have his baby, he needs to be a dad.
a/n: hello you have now infected my brain with the Leopold as a dad worm and it will never leave me thank you and as my payment u now get a drabble. Also I’ve made the executive decision for him to be a girl dad and his daughter is named after his mother. Okay thank you
wc: ~650
The best moment of Leopold’s life was the day he married you. Love deep in his heart as he said his vows. Promising to love you and no one else for the rest of his life. That you would be the one and only to capture his heart.
He meant every world and when he kissed you it was like everything fell into place. This is where he was meant to be.
The second best moment of his life was every single day with his daughter.
They’re all tied for second. Being a father was always something he wanted but to truly become a father. It was amazing.
“Dada!” He looks up from the morning paper to see his little girl waddling towards him.
“Oh my don’t you look gorgeous.” He smiles from ear to ear as he holds out his arms and picks her up.
Lifting her up in the air just to hear her giggles. She had a costume dress on and a little tiara. She was his princess so it was only fit she dressed like one.
“This princess refused to put on anything else.” You huff as walk down the hall. Leopold walks over to you and kisses your cheek. Then he kisses his daughter’s cheek.
“Is that true miss Adeline?” Leopold asks in mock surprise.
“I’m a princess!” She giggles and Leopold can’t help but agree.
“Are you going to be okay today?” You had gotten called into work for an emergency leaving your family plans for another day. You felt horrible but Leo assured you everything was alright.
“Of course my love, don’t fret I’ll handle everything.” You kiss him once more before heading out for the day.
“Now, what does the princess demand for breakfast?”
He can’t remember the last time he got this much quality time with Adeline. He swears up and down that just yesterday she was still a baby. The memories flash in his mind as she munches on her apple slices.
Holding her in his arms. Feeling his heart break at the sound of her cries. Wanting nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and protect her from everything he can.
Now she’s three years old and he savors every minute he can. Being sat on the couch as he listens intently to his daughters babbling. Smiling as she talks like she understands the whole world. He nods along and indulges whatever her imagination can create.
Soon she’s tired and the sounds of Cinderella play from the television. She stands on his feet as he dances around the living room. He hums the music as she laughs.
Leopold spins her around and picks her up. He remembers his first ball, learning to dance with his mother. Now he returns the favor. It may not be the 18th century but his daughter will be treated like royalty.
“M’tired daddy.” She yawns and rests her head against his chest.
So he takes her to her room. Letting her fall asleep in his arms, just like she used to. Sitting in the big chair by her bed, the same one he used to rock her in and read her bedtime stories. The one he’d sit in after she had woken up in the night and cried out for him.
He’d hold her tight and whisper that everything was okay. That he would never let anything hurt her. No monsters and nobody would hurt her.
“Well looks like you had a busy day.” He looks up to see you standing by the door.
A warm smile on your face as you take in the sight of your husband and baby girl. Leopold is everything you could have asked for as a husband and a father.
“Do you want to put her down and eat?” He shakes his head as Adeline stirs in his arms. Clutching his finger in her little hand.
“I think I wish to stay here a little longer.” You walk over sit on the arm of the chair.
Leaning your head onto Leopold’s head and slowly rake your fingers through Adelines hair. Leopold takes it all in.
So much time has passed in the blink of an eye that he wishes he could slow everything down and just live right here. He doesn’t know what the future may bring but he does know one thing.
He’s a lucky, lucky man.
#kate and leopold#hugh jackman x reader#leopold mountbatten#leopold mountbatten x reader#dad!leopold is too cute#i will now be thinking of this forever
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Garp, Fascism, and Parental Failure
Garp is truly one of the most interesting One Piece characters for me because of the extent to which his dogged, relentless devotion to a fascist system–and the supposed "order" it promises to uphold in the face of anarchy or rebellion–perseveres no matter how many times it fails him and his son and his grandsons. He's fully aware of the deep-seated corruption and atrocity, and feels some kind of moral obligation to bend its rules to protect the innocent (as we can see with his attempts to protect Rouge and Ace), but when faced with widespread femicide and infanticide, genocide, slavery and endless examples of egregious cruelty, he is unable to comprehend the notion that the system is indefensible, or that the only moral choice he can possibly make when faced with that level of atrocity is to leave and resist it. His son recognizing the inherent, inexcusable failures of the World Government and its armed enforcers–literally quitting the force to start a revolution– changes nothing. The order to slaughter pregnant people and infants at Baterilla can't convince him otherwise. The countless instances of bribery, the tolerance of atrocity from state-sanctioned privateers, everything about the history of the Valley of the Gods are all things he's aware of, and takes issue with, but never comes to the conclusion that he cannot affect positive change within a system designed for oppression. The public execution of his grandson–a prime example of the marine's fundamentally irrational, arrogant, vindictive cruelty clearly bound to blow up in all of their faces even before their Pyrrhic victory at the summit war–makes him waver, but even when confronted with this obvious, indefensible injustice against a child he raised and rescued by people seeking to murder him on live TV and desecrate his corpse as a show of power, he cannot bring himself to act against it in any meaningful way no matter how much it hurts him to leave his grandson to die. If he can't veto it, he'll stay Vice Admiral and suffer through Ace being sacrificed on the altar of fascist state control, and functionally leave Luffy for dead in the process while he's at it. He fails every single person he wanted to love–Ace, Luffy, and almost certainly Dragon–and allows himself to be reluctantly complicit in countless crimes against humanity again and again and again because he's so deeply steeped in this notion of preservation of order through state control that he convinces himself that even this disgusting, atrocious, fundamentally flawed and untenable excuse for a government is better than abolition, better than revolution, or just the act of expecting accountability or literally anything better from the systems that issue false promises to protect you. Dadan beating the living shit out of him and calling him a failure as a grandfather, as a self proclaimed defender of the people, is one of the most important scenes in the Postwar Arc because a lesser series might frame Garp as a tragic, helpless figure suffering more than anyone else due to conflict of love and duty, but One Piece refuses to whitewash his actions/inaction or allow the grief and suffering caused by systems he's complicit in to take precedence over its real victims: the D brothers.
There's so much I could say about statism and anarchism and the ways people have internalized the supposed necessity of state violence to the extent they can't oppose that violence even when it ruins them or their loved ones, but that horrible indoctrination and its devastating consequences for both him and his family are what makes Garp so fascinating to watch and so thematically/politically important to One Piece as a whole.
#monkey d garp#monkey d. luffy#monkey d dragon#portgas d ace#one piece#curly dadan#marineford#one piece text posts#portgas d rouge#one piece marines#garp one piece#garp the fist#vice admiral garp#crocodile did more to try and help ace than garp#fucking crocodile
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TSWCP — CHAP 3
lee minho x m!reader
chapter summary; you just can’t live with the silence. you can’t bear it. this time, you prove minho you really will risk it all for him. will he take it or leave you with your heart bleeding in your hands?
content warning; subtle internalized homophobia + subtle insecurity + tension + constant change of pov (mainly minho’s) + crying + makeout session
content genre; idol au + actor au + fluff + angst + 9th member! reader
word count — 6.4k | m.list | a/n; this sucks btw ;(
it’s cold. frozen and heavy.
that’s how you could describe your heart after what had happened days ago. your mind? static. looking for signal. waiting on connection.
concert tours are coming up. your management had managed to sort something out with the executive directors of the drama so that once you come back from tour with the group, shooting wouldn’t be delayed or a hassle. the thought of it is dreadful. you still have to pull off a few conferences and amidst your tour dates some photo shootings have been crushed into your schedule.
as much as it pisses you off, it also can’t be helped.
“what’s your favorite scene?” an interviewer asks.
you blink, having zoned out. gayoung’s soft touch on your knee brings you back to your current position.
“me personally,” gayoung says with her fluent english. “i really loved the scene where i had to ride a horse.”
you stare at her before smiling. the other actor, another close friend of yours on set is minwoo, he laughs.
“i had to help her five times to climb on that thing because she kept slipping.”
“ah, the cons of being a gnome,” you tease automatically.
everyone busts laughing while gayoung gives you an offended expression. she starts an argument, you feed it.
minho clutches his phone as he watches the interaction from his screen. the video had been posted not so long ago now. he can’t help it, seeing you from a screen and aching. why had he been so stupid? kissing you? confessing?
you two could never be as perfect as you and gayoung are. your chemistry is absolutely beautiful. it’s so natural. how could he ever compare to something like that. much less now? he ruined what he had with you. was a kiss really worth it? absolutely not. not after the rift he created with you became unmendable.
“y/n, since the drama is based on a book, it has been said that the first few episodes on the next season you’ll have to portray heartbreak, betrayal and desperation. will that be hard for you?”
he watches how you shake your head immediately, that joyful expression you had dropped “i have to display a raw emotion, most of the time we as actors have to study how to display something we’ve never experienced but in this case, i’ve actually experienced heartbreak and desperation.”
minho’s eyes widened a bit. are you insane? how could you say that with your girlfriend right next to you?
“could you maybe give us some insight on that?”
“well,” you look up at the ceiling for a moment. then you look back at the screen but for some reason it feels like you’re looking at him. as if you knew he was watching. “as an idol and actor you need to let go of many things you end up carrying, i think everyone does and everyone has someone to seek out and trust enough to simply rant and be yourself with. yet, things kind of change when you grow in the industry… maybe the fans don’t know this about me but i cherish those who i’m close with and will always find a way to keep our bonds, despite how i seem like i’ll let people come and go- it’s nothing like that. filming this drama took a lot out of me…”
“it not only took away my sleep but it took something else away. i loved shooting it, but if i had to do everything all over again…” you pause, sighing, “i think i would… but i’d change a lot of things and work hard not just to keep my career going but to keep those around me too. yeah, maybe we can’t stop people from leaving when they decided they will no matter what but it doesn’t change how horrible that feeling is.’
“you have gayoung though, as a couple i’m sure you share your burdens with her now, right?”
bitterness flashes across your features for a moment. no one has caught that, no one will. only minho.
because as much as it hurts… he’s the only one that knows you more than you know yourself.
“of couse,” you smile. bitter. “just shows that when someone won’t be there for you, someone else will.” you pause, “and be better.”
ouch. minho turns off his phone, he covers his face into his hands and breathes wetly. he really is the worst, isn’t he?
fans have started to notice the distance between the two of you. bubble messages flood in every now and then saying they hope you and he are doing okay. he sees the comments questioning the silence that has been built between you two. the members know.
well, they don’t know you two had kissed or that he is inevitably in love with you.
but they know you two are not in good terms.
chan had questioned you about it and when you didn’t give him a believable answer he had seeked minho out. all minho said was — “y/n is just too busy to keep what we have, i made sure he focuses on his career.” which in turns absolutely outed the fact minho caused all of this. the look of disappointment chan gave him is the same one he gives himself after crying and looking in the mirror.
even crying feels illegal.
the worst part is you and jisung share the dorm with him. he hears jisung question you about your distance. he hears you talk to people— to gayoung — over the phone. he bumps into you on the way to the laundry, to the bathroom, in the kitchen.
he works with you.
he lives with you.
he misses you.
yet, you’re not his to seek out anymore. you’re his coworker now.
nothing more…
“where’s y/n? we’re about to board the plane,” jeongin says with a pout.
minho unconsciously looks around, equally wondering where you are. they had driven to the airport at around 10 and you weren’t in the dorms. through check ins, you still hadn’t popped up.
later, however, the video of you running through the airport with your bodyguard and manager blows up. minho finds that out in the van after landing in tokyo. he had wondered why you were so disheveled when you entered the plane.
“we have four concerts here in japan,” seungmin mumbles to himself, “we have one day to roam around, one morning left and then we’re off to the states.”
“doesn’t y/n hyung have a private conference in the states?” jisung asks.
“what?” minho frowns.
chan sighs, “he really needs to take a break. this whole year is going to be packed.” he rests his head back on the seat, “he barely managed to pull off the concerts in korea.”
“well we do have a few free days in between our concerts,” seungmin offers, “he’ll have some sort of rest.”
minho swallows. are you really that busy?
he still doesn’t get to see much of you. he’s had to hear hyunjin recap how you have 2 interviews a day before flying with them to japan. how you had to pull an all nighter to review a script for a morning commercial schedule. it’s crazy, he thinks. how are you alive.
when all of you come to the venue to rehearse, he sees you thrudge in after chan, who seemingly had to drag you here. your hair is everywhere, your face puffy from sleep, your large hoodie and baggy joggers make you look small. minho forces himself to look away, his heart clenching at your adorable sight.
practice goes alright, minho thinks. sound check goes well, jisung and changbin goofed off with the autotune. they had tried to pull you into their fun scheme but minho noticed how you grimly looked at them. it didn’t change how you still went along with it, always willing to entertain the guys. they’re your family just as much as they’re his. still, everyone is tense around you two.
because they know.
they know their favorite hyungs are in weird terms. they don’t ask, they don’t have to. it’s visibly written in the air.
“minho can you go check on y/n,” chan asks him the morning of the official concert.
everyone went through the same checks and passed. everything is ready. minho hadn’t really seen you today regardless, despite dancing and singing beside you. he truly does not recall you being around other than on stage, not even during lunch break.
“why me?” he asks without thinking, it even comes out bitterly.
chan stares at him for a moment. no one is around, just him and minho. “are you really going to drag this out?” he asks, tone evidently showing how angry he is, “everyone else is checking up on him except you. what are you two doing?”
minho looks away, fists clenching at his sides. “we’re just… not in a good spot-“
“and how long will that last? huh? y/n isn’t prideful like you are, so who is dragging it out?”
that was like a slap in the face.
“minho, don’t shut me out.”
yet minho closed the door and never dared get near it. you never begged again. verbally. he took notice of your sad eyes after the fight. he felt your presence begging to call for him. yet you didn’t. because you knew the door that was slammed in your face would never open again.
“i’ll check up on him before we get on stage,” he says softly.
chan sighs, “i’ll take it.”
backstage, as he’s getting in his outfit, he sees you thrudge around. on your phone. clearly you’re talking to gayoung. he sees you smile for a second before walking out. he can’t help but follow you out discreetly. you step behind a wall, he stays around the corner.
“i’m screwed,” you whisper. “so fucking screwed, you have no idea.”
minho steps back. well you’re alive and that’s all that matters. why would he check up on you? you don’t need him. you have the guys. you have gayoung. that’s clearly who you’re talking to.
he doesn’t need to overstep. your life isn’t something he’s involved in.
“minho! y/n!”
minho whips his head around, his heart pounding. does hyunjin have to be so fucking loud!? outing him like this!? he should leave before you realize he was right behind you- he makes the mistake of turning around again and coming face to face with you.
he’s caught.
he swallows and stares up at you. your dark eyes boring into him. you’re all ready to get on stage. he couldn’t even speak if he wanted to. there’s nothing to say.
the way you walk past him makes his heart drop.
the act was unfamiliar until 2 months ago. that’s how long he’s been dragging it out. that’s how long it’s been when he hurt your feelings and smashed his along. it felt like so little time but it felt like an eternity ago.
an eternity that is burned into his skull and haunts him.
not even the roar of the fans when they come on stage silences the thousands of thoughts in his head.
he’s on the stage feeling like a puppet. except his strings tangle with yours. the amount of times you bumped into him from stumbling were too many to count. he hates it.
and he hates how much he worries.
above all, he hates that he can’t near you.
and it’s his fault.
it’s probably the fourth concert day, the last concert in japan. they’ll be here for a day or so before flying back to korea.
your chest feels tight.
you get nauseous a lot. you can’t really stomach much. at most a soup you get at the hotel you’re all staying at but even that leaves you with an upset stomach.
you had filmed a commercial in japan, gayoung had been flown out here. it frustrated you, didn’t matter where you went, gayoung had to be involved somehow. the girl isn’t at fault, it’s the company, you know that.
“oppa are you sure you’re okay?” she asks.
you raise your head and look at your phone. the video call started thirty minutes ago when she finally landed and finished going through security. you don’t hate her, she’s a good friend. you haven’t kissed her, both of you strictly left that for the scenes only. you hug her, you cuddle her, you carry her but she’s not who you love. maybe as a friend. not as a lover.
“you look like shit ever since we finished the drama, i didn’t want to point it out,” she says, there’s a bit of a teasing tone but she’s also dead serious.
“a pretty girl like you shouldn’t curse,” you say with a sigh.
she stares at you before starting a string pf curses. you chuckle softly, shaking your head. you groan, your migraine returning. she immediately pauses.
“oppa, i’m worried for you. joking aside, you really do look like shit.”
you grunt, looking around the room, “i think i’ll feel better when i’m back in korea…”
she puts the phone close to her face, as if she could see you more clearly that way. “i hope so or we’ll have to shoot a ‘taking care of my boyfriend’ blog.”
“ugh no,” you whine.
she laughs, “just kidding, the company is going to make me show my concern though if something happens.”
you give her a face, “nothing is gonna happen gayoung, i’m fine. just not a hundred percent.”
“well as long as you get back home safely,” she says softly, “i care for you y/n.”
all formality is out the window. it always has been with her, you see her as a little sibling from how long you two have worked together for. almost a whole year and a half. you had known her before the drama but contact wasn’t fully established until then.
“i have to get going to the venue,” you finalize, dread expressed on your features.
“okay~,” she sing songs as she gets inside her van, “don’t push yourself, okay? see ya!”
“bye,” you throw a peace sign and she quickly mimics you before hanging up.
you drop your phone on your bed before scrubbing your face with your hands. sometimes you’re thankful that you’re dating a friend instead of someone you don’t know, you’ve heard companies do that so this isn’t bad. yet, it isn’t good either.
you’ve been like a zombie these last few weeks. taking all sorts of pills and gummies that would give you energy and help you get through concerts with a smile. you know the guys are worried about you, but you’re not the only one feeling overworked. still, you’re the one with the worst of it.
“let’s put on our best show,” chan says as he pats everyone’s backs. he pauses when he comes to you, “let me know if you need a break-“
“hyung, seriously,” you grimace. “you make me feel like i don’t belong sometimes.”
he frowns, realizing he overstepped. “shit, no. y/n that’s not what i meant- i just- you know that i know.”
you stare at him, almost mortified. “uh-“
“please get to the stage quickly!” a staff member says.
chan gives you a once over before heading out, you follow suit. your migraine hasn’t stopped. the roaring of the fans feels like a hammer being pounded on your skull from the inside. you genuinely contemplate taking up chan’s offer, especially when you zone out and step on minho’s shoe accidentally.
“my bad,” you say automatically, stepping away like you had been burned.
and maybe you were, with the way he looks at you annoyingly. when did you feel so left out like this?
you execute the choreography perfectly, smiling at hyunjin whenever he comes across you on a part. fans fawn over each and every one of you. yet, when your part comes during the bridge, you stop mid verse when something oozes out of your nose onto your upper lip. immediately, you look away from the camera and wipe it with your sleeve. the worst part is minho was behind you for the formation, his brows furrowed when you immediately stumbled when walking to the next formation.
“are you bleeding?” jisung asks ushered as jeongin sings.
you walk past all of them, jogging to the backstage. the bleeding won’t stop, normally you can just wipe it away and it’s unnoticeable but you knew this isn’t as easy. you’re hyper aware of your physical status.
“oh, here let me,” a staff member says as they guide you to a chair.
the fans are worried, chan clarifying that you’ll be fine makes it worse. how weak could you be?
“the bleeding stopped,” you say as you look at the clean tissue you pull away from your nose.
“ah, are you sure you want to go-“
“thank you for your care, if anything comes up i’ll let you know,” you bow low before heading back out after the second song.
there’s a moment where the members speak and chat, you anxiously return to the stage as jisung speaks to stay. you could stand beside anyone, they’re all dear to you and have been with you during tough times. yet, you unconsciously went to minho’s side, awkwardly standing there when you realize you shouldn’t have chosen him.
even now, does he really give you comfort? why are you lying to yourself like this?
“oh! hyung! are you okay?” hyunjin asks out loud on the mic.
you swallow before looking down at your mic, “minho hit me with his mic when i went to formation.”
what.
minho spins and looks at you. you clearly lost your mind.
“i’m good though hyung, no need to apologize.”
everyone on stage is looking at you like you really have lost it. minho’s eyes are like saucers. he hesitates before bringing his mic up to speak, looking away and nervously fidgeting with his inear.
“uh, my mistake, i didn’t realize you were that close when we turned.”
“hyung doesn’t realize his strength either,” hyunjin jokes nervously.
there’s no way to verify or deny that fact. in the formation you and minho are pretty hidden, so in the end, it’s a possibility no matter how slim.
“the fuck was that,” minho grits when all of you are backstage for an outfit change.
“hey, don’t fight,” changbin huffs.
you stand there stiffly, changbin between the two of you. everyone has run off, not wanting to get caught up in it. chan comes up to you two. minho glares at you before stepping back.
“i didn’t mean to hurt you,” he says, like he really did hurt you on the stage.
“but you did.” you say automatically.
“hey, hey, what matters is that you’re okay,” chan says, believing the words that came out of your mouths.
neither chan or changbin know that minho’s apology and your accusations are not from what happened minutes ago, but from what happened two months ago. you look away, turning to change.
now, things are worse. the anger you had from what minho did dwindled down into your suppressed sadness. you meant everything you said- you’d leave anything and everything to keep him. yet, why didn’t he want you?
you cover your face before your stylist fixes your makeup, you ask for a few moments and she goes on standby. your head is killing you, you want to cry from frustration, you absolutely want minho.
he always knew how to make you feel better.
how come the last time you fought him he kissed you? isn’t he hurting too? why is this so difficult?
by the time you’re back on stage with the other members, you can’t really stay focused. you trail behind anyone and everyone down the stage when some of the songs are free reign across the stage. you stick to jisung, the second closest member to you… well, maybe the first one now that minho wants nothing to do with you.
you watch him across the stage.
during the song there’s a beat pause. everyone looks at each other playfully, but minho’s eyes latch onto your gaze.
you smile at him, painful but yearning.
he at least has the decency to wave back.
and the flame of hope ignites in your heart again.
your life feels suffocating.
you can’t remember how many times you’ve been seen only as gayoung’s boyfriend. the idol with an outed relationship that bloomed from a drama. you get back to korea. you fly out for concerts. you fly out for interviews.
it’s constant movement.
everyone found out your nosebleeds come from stress and your lack of sleep. chan knows the most of it, he does lack sleep too. still, your life is busy even with not scenes to shoot.
minho isn’t handling that well. he hasn’t exactly stepped up to confront you about the situation between the two of you. nor has he approached you on terms outside of fan service. it’s not even as often as before, it’s crumbs of what the two of you used to do. ever since you started a relationship there’s constant war between fans when a member is too touchy with you.
you’re not an object, you don’t belong to gayoung. if only they knew the relationship was strictly a job on top of all your jobs. you were called in for modeling, for drink commercials, a cafe wanted to have a theme with the drama and you and gayoung had to sponsor their promotions for a week. the drinks were okay.
the food was okay.
nothing could beat minho’s cooking. sadly, you don’t think you’ll ever get the chance to eat it ever again. you and minho’s situation hasn’t gotten better nor worse. it’s just.. still.
you often stare at your ceiling at night when you have the luxury to be home early to rest. it’s not often but when you do… your mind drifts.
to how soft minho’s lips are. to the hunger you two had demonstrated. the way his soft breathes ignited a fire in your stomach. he took that chance and built a wall between the two of you.
“yah,” a voice calls out.
you jump, sitting up and whipping around to face your door.
“i made dinner.”
you look at the door as if minho opened it and stared at you. he’s behind the wooden pallet. he’s talking to you. your body twitches before you stiffen.
no.
you can’t.
you’ve waited all these months for this but you just can’t. something won’t let you. is it your self restraint? you don’t want to fight again. if you tried to bring up the topic he’d run away. he’ll somehow blame you. he’ll do everything possible to keep you at a miles distance.
he’s just being a coworker.
he’s obligated to show interest and care.
“i know you’re awake,” minho says.
is his voice trembling?
“i’m good.” you say softly, staring at the bottom of the door to see his shadow. it’s loud enough for him to hear.
if you accepted, two things could happen. you argue and make things worse. or you lose all control and take the riskiest bet of them all.
neither is good.
you don’t particularly care for your fame. you have enough in your bank to survive if you get fired or blacklisted. you have backup plans. yet, you’re not ready for it yet. you’re just waiting on minho to accept that he’s the one at fault, even if it’s indirectly.
when that will happen? you don’t know. maybe him wanting to eat a cooked meal was it. yet, your instincts tell you not now.
so you lay back down, hearing minho huff and stomp away.
he definitely thinks you hate him. you love him, but you want him to feel a little sting. it’s nothing compared to the scalding he gave you months ago, but giving him a little taste of his medicine won’t hurt.
at least you don’t hope so.
he has to reach out the right way.
and… you close your eyes and toss and turns…. and if he doesn’t do it before you finally decide, then you’ll have no choice to make the move.
just a little longer…
you hope your heart handles it.
he doesn’t near you. you’re used to it now, despite how much it hurts you.
it’s the end of the year and all of you are preparing for the award shows. you have many to attend— mma , mama, the baeksang arts awards. probably some more.
the biggest is mama. it’s one of the ones at the end of the year. the acting award is in may, or so you heard. thing is you’re a nominee and they’ll announce that further on, right now your main focus is the award shows of the month of december. it’s a stressful time, but not as stressful as when you were fresh of the drama.
since last month, you’ve had more time to breathe. to sleep too.
you do have the obligation to keep going on dates with gayoung. instead of being home alone with minho when jisung is stuck in the studio you choose to hang out with her. unknown to you- that hurts minho. well, maybe you do know.
“sound check done, thank you!”
all of you bow.
“hyung!” changbin runs to you, “i’m hungry!”
“yeah! me too!” seungmin yells.
you smile, adoring how cute changbin looks as he clings to your side. “and what do you want to eat? we have to start getting ready for our performance tonight.”
“crab!” changbin pouts.
“i want something else,” hyunjin argues.
you laugh, “just order what you want… you know where my card is…” everyone screams happily, “and remember to watch your intake, i don’t need anyone with an upset stomach during or after performance. also!” you point at them, “just buy food, i don’t want to recieve a bill of some video game purchase.” you eye felix who whistles.
minho simply watches you from afar. these past few months weren’t easy. still, he can’t bring himself to face you yet. why would he? your life is as perfect as it gets— you have a successful acting and idol career. you have a beautiful girlfriend. you have millions of doting fans. what would he speak to you for? his feelings? those are worth nothing for you, it’s destroy your image.
assuming you really did mean what you said all those months ago, what benefit would you get? he can’t do that to you. he can’t bear to think that you’d leave everything you worked so hard to build just for him… if he had ever said yes.
but he knows better.
and he knows his spot is exactly where he’s in- watching you from afar. seeing you work as an idol beside him.
“alright guys, let’s go show them what we’re made of,” chan says with a whoop.
minho simply won’t intervene.
despite how much rest you’ve had compared to a few months back, you still don’t feel your best. still, your performance is full of energy and charisma. the whole performance is full of crazy moves and entrances. the acts hyunjin and you pulled were the highlights of the whole stage.
by the second act, your place was to do a flip between two dancers, so that they would soon do a dance break with you. you’d have to wait for a few moments until felix finishes his line and everyone files to the side for you to do your part.
you’ve rehearsed this plenty of times, you know when to enter and when to wait. you know how many steps to take and when to turn. when to breathe and when to blink.
yet, you take the wrong step and fall six feet off the platform stage. bodyguards run to you as you groan, your trembling arms helping you push yourself off the ground. jeongin’s worried eyes are on you, he’s hidden from the amount of dancers before him.
“are you okay!?” a staff asks as they help you get to your feet.
you had fallen on your hands and knees. the impact was rough but the adrenaline makes it feel like you’re fine. your hand hurts bad though, or is it your wrist? you just stare down at your shaking hands, scratched and getting red. you wobble, your knees almost giving out. you need to get back on stage-
the dance break starts.
“help me get up!” you yell, panting.
“if you’re injured we have to-“
“you have to walk all the way around-“
“y/n-ssi you need to get checked-“
everyone is talking but not moving. you growl, grabbing a bodyguard and your stare was enough for everyone to get the gist. they hunch over and hook their hands to give you leverage, your foot wobbles from weak balance as you boost yourself up with their help. clearly everyone is confused and worried, yet you crawl onto the stage and quickly get on your feet.
the impact is starting to reveal where you’re hurt. your ankle is probably sprained, each step is killing you. your shoulder aches, your elbows sting.
still, you run and when your backup dancer catch you on their peripheral vision, they immediately step back to sync with you when you backflip and spin to the floor in a breakdance pattern. it’s the final steps of the formation you were supposed to perform, yet it still blew everyone away and regained the attention of everyone.
going through the rest of the choreography was killing you. it took everything in you to not wobble as you did your lines and performed with the rest of the members.
the worst part? was that after forcing yourself to stand still for approximately one minute as the performance comes to an end for the cameras to stop rolling, you lose your balance when going down the stairs and once more, you fall from the three foot high staircase that lead to the backstage.
“hyung!” jeongin cries out, catching everyone’s attention.
medical staff already surround you as you lay on the floor, groaning and grunting.
“what’s going on?” minho asks, eyes wide and his heart pounding.
“hyung fell off the stairs!” changbin exclaims.
“he also fell off the stage,” jeongin sobs, “and he still hopped on and kept going-“
“hey, hey, let’s let them work,” chan says, gathering the kids away despite his anxiety skyrocketing.
minho doesn’t budge at first, his glassy eyes fixated on your body as the medics put you on a stretcher when you say how much it hurts to move. he’s worried sick, you really pushed yourself that bad? he can’t wonder if you’re insane or passionate. no one really enjoys the rest of the ceremony. during the speech chan mentions how passionate they are for their dream, even mentioning how y/n pushed himself to give the best performance even when he shouldn’t have.
back in the dorms chan texts the chat, saying you had dislocated your left shoulder and wrist. you’re bruised on your elbows and knees, the height would have fractured them but you had placed all your weight in the impact in your hands, causing one wrist to suffer more. two to three months until you’re fully recovered.
they still have to perform. minho can’t help but cry, he knows very well the company will make you keep going through promotions and schedules no matter how hurt you are.
and he’s nervous. how will he put aside his actions in order to care for you? you live right next to his room, how could he feign interest when you’ll be in need of assistance for a while? hyunjin was the same, so how could he not intervene?
his biggest fear is this— what if you don’t let him?
he’d deserve it of course. you have every right to refuse his help and care.
it gnaws at him for the three days straight that you’re in the hospital. it was per your request to stay for a little longer. how will he face you? is now the right time? no. yes?
he isn’t sure if he’s crying from guilt, self hatred or anxiety anymore. so when he hears your familiar footsteps inside the dorm he freezes. jisung is with chan and changbin again, coincidentally saying he’ll be home extremely late, he enters a frenzy.
he hears your gruttal sigh as you walk inside your room, your door closes.
well. it’s now or never.
you either reject him all together — reject what? he doesn’t know. he has no idea what he’s going to say, no idea if he’ll ask to console you or to apologize for what happened or what. something has to be done, though, and if you never let him get close to you again then he’ll understand that it’s the consequences of his actions.
he takes a deep breath as he heads out of his room. he swallows the knot in his throat when he stands before your door.
“leave me alone, minho,” you say before his fist even makes contact with your door to knock.
he stares at the door as if it was it that spoke to you that way. “y/n… i-“
“just leave me alone they way you said you would. you don’t need me so i don’t need you either.”
minho breathes shallow, “y-you don’t mean that-“
“the fuck do you want?” you groan, “what? i get hurt and now you decide to speak to me?”
your voice cracks at the end of your grievance. it breaks minho.
“i’m sorry,” he sobs, “i shouldn’t have been selfish! i shouldn’t have hurt you like that! shouldn’t have shut you out!”
he hiccups and takes a step back when you open the door. through blurry sight, he looks at you. you stare down at him, why are your eyes so tender?
“but you did…”
“i just knew if i didn’t i’d have no restraint,” he sniffles, “i love you.” he whispers, looking down at the floor, “seeing you with her hurt so much. knowing you smell like her made me nauseous. knowing she was your new focus made me feel like i didn’t belong in your life anymore-“
“minho,” you grab his chin with your free hand, tilting his face up. “why does it take me getting hurt for you to speak to me again?”
minho shakes his head, “i just can’t come between you and gayoung-“
“me and gayoung are dating by contract, not because i love her.” you confess, finally letting that out. “you think i want to be with her?”
minho pushes your hand away, hot tears streaming down his face again. “what will the company think? we won’t work! you have so much to lose and-“
“you think i give a damn about all of this!?” you push him forward until he’s trapped between you and the wall. “i love you, lee minho.” you stare at his mortified expression, “i stand by what i said. for you, and only you, i’d give up everything.”
“your career-“
“none of this means nothing if you’re not in it!” you grab his chin again, “you don’t have to love me back, you don’t have to accept my feelings! just, just talk to me again, please,” you beg, your own eyes glassing over, “don’t just be my coworker, be my friend again. be my safe place again. i-i’ll put away my feelings for you, we can forget that i love you but don’t shut me out again.”
“y/n…” he stares at you, realizing how truly broken you’ve been since that day.
“that’s what i meant that day… none of this is worth it if the one person that made me feel like i belonged isn’t with me.”
“oh, y/n…” his bottom lip trembles, “have we really been that blind?”
you close your eyes and sigh, “i understand you’re scared of the public eye…”
“i am…” he whimpers.
“but i’d walk through fire if it meant i’d have you as mine for the rest of my life.”
he locks eyes with you, drowning in the warmth of your orbs. his heart hammers in his chest again, would he do the same? what is he really scared of? loving you and risking his career?
no, he concludes.
“y/n….” he says shallowly before leaning in to kiss you.
he’s scared of losing you and realizing everything he has isn’t worth that.
you kiss him with passion. his soft lips syncing with yours, saliva mixing with yours as your tongue grazes his. your hands grab his waist and pull him flush against you.
“ngh- y-your wrist-“ he tries to say as you eat his mouth.
“don’t care,” you grumble as you attack his lips without remorse.
the pesty sting in your bone doesn’t matter when he’s finally in your arms. his whimpers and moans make you want more. you know he’ll sound even more beautiful beneath you in the sheets, taking all you have to offer.
just the thought accelerates your heart rate. the beautiful man you’ve always wanted is finaly before you. the kiss means more than a confession. you place your hands behind his thighs, he makes a noise when you lift him up.
“ah- your shoulder-!”
“it’s okay baby, what you make me feel is bigger than the pain,” you tease as you carry him to your bed.
he can’t scold you or complain because you attack his mouth again. you grin into the kiss as you sit on the edge of the bed with him on your lap. it’s probably the hottest thing minho will ever experience. he straddles your waist for more comfort in this position, hands running through your hair as you kiss along his jawline. when you kiss a certain spot, he twitches and whines.
with a lazy smile, you pull away and look at him.
“let me take you,” you beg softly, panting.
he swallows, looking down at the tent in your shorts. “but gayoung-“
“can you stop mentioning her?” you growl, pulling him down by the hips so that your boner pokes him through his joggers. “she will never have me the way you can.” you kiss his ear, making him shiver, “the way you will.”
“i’m scared,” he voices out. he wraps his arms around your neck, “i-i want to say yes but… there will be no going back, y/n…”
“it was never a choice,” you say.
and he lets you push him down onto the bed.
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PJO Athena didn't have to have kids-a possible alternative to this
So anyone who's read about Greek Mythology probably knows that Athena is a virgin goddess-and Ancient Greeks considered marriage and children as losing your virginity.
Ancient Greek were also taken very seriously. In fact, if you lose your virginity whether consensual or not, you were executed. Even MoA says this-you die in a horrible way if you lose your virginity, which is why the Romans ignored Annabeth so much.
So............Athena did not need to have children. Even brain children formed from her's and her lover's thoughts, because they're still children.
But! you say. But Annabeth!
Uh, let me speak, please. Some silence is required. Yes, thank you.
ANNABETH SHOULD'VE BEEN ATHENA'S CHOSEN, HER CHAMPION, NOT HER CHILD.
Let me explain about this.
So, Athena fell in love with Frederick, right?
Well, let's change it to she platonically liked Frederick and was impressed with his intelligence and wit, so she told him and his wife that as a gift, she could bless their daughter Annabeth with demigod powers, a chosen champion of Athena-
but she warns them of all the risks that'll happen, and tells them that Annabeth will be turned into a demigod directly, and she tells them how to raise Annabeth in the right environment.
And have Annabeth's parents be thrilled because both of them can fully see through the Mist. And honestly, they didn't think that it would be so hard to raise a demigod!
And once Annabeth is blessed, they keep pushing her-they think that she should be smart enough, but they don't put her in a proper environment for all of this because they're unable to get one because 1) It would be difficult to get tons of books in Ancient Greek
2) They didn't realise the actual consequences of having a child with ADHD and dyslexia because they were too excited with Annabeth becoming 'magical' as they put it, so they thought that she'd be insanely smart even though Athena warned them against this, and they keep pushing her, they're disappointed that she's not in middle school by only seven years old.
3) And by then, the monsters start coming and the spiders start coming too and they realise how difficult it is so they blame her for it.
And so she runs away and then everything else happens, and Athena feels guilty and angry about making Annabeth her champion when she was just an infant, so she guides her and helps her.
And then Annabeth could be isolated at camp without anyone in her cabin, because Athena's demigods aren't 'real' demigods-they have two mortal parents and are only blessed by Athena, so the camp doesn't treat them like demigods and kind of looks down on them.
So Annabeth feels the need to prove herself and this also makes her cling to Luke more. Also, she finally finds a real friend in Percy, which makes more sense, because how come she just makes friends with a random guy at camp, even a son of the Big 3, when she's been there for 5 years?
This makes Annabeth more relatable because there are people who's parents didn't think twice before having children and there are people whose parents pressure them academically too much.
And now you're probably wondering about Malcolm.
Yeah, what about Malcolm?
He's barely there in the original PJO series. Once in BOTL where he walks in on Percabeth hugging? Well, have another demigod walk in for another purpose.
Malcolm in TLO? Change it to another cabin. Simple.
BOO when he's attending the meeting? Have it be Clarisse.
TON when Apollo interacts with him? Have it be an Ares camper (Sherman Yang, maybe) who's gathering information, because Ares campers aren't just violent dickheads, they can gather information too. Information gathering is a part of war, and Ares campers don't just fight.
When he's mentioned coming out as gay because of Nico? Put another camper there. Whichever one you want.
Malcolm Pace lovers, I'm sorry about dissing Malcolm-I don't hate him, it's just that he's not even that important. If you took all the children of Athena (ruling out the historical ones which can be cut out) then Annabeth Chase is more important than all the other three combined. I'm not even sure if Zane is canon or not.
#PJO#PJO crit#PJO critical#percy jackson#percy jackson critical#percy jackson crit#Percy Jackson and the Olympians#rick riordan critical#rr crit#rr critical#PJO discourse#PJO meta#Annabeth Chase#Athena PJO#Frederick PJO#Helen PJO#Malcolm Pace#Malcolm PJO
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Protection - Jaime Lannister
Jaime x fem!reader Stark
Warnings: GOT
Word count: 2,033
Summary: Reader is a Stark stuck in King's Landing after everything and including her fathers death. The only one that seems to care about her is shockingly Jaime Lannister.
Authors Note: I think after the changes Jaime’s character made from being held captive by the Stark’s and losing his hand plus his time with Brienne that he would be protective of the Stark girls. The oath he made to Catelyn he didn’t want to break, so I think that means something. Just like he couldn’t himself but he helped himself and Breinne by sending her to go look after and find Arya and Sansa. - I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to be romantic or him protecting her because she resembled what he thought a daughter of his own would be like or if he was honoring his promise to Catelyn. I tried to leave it open.
Masterlist
Game Of Thrones Masterlist
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Y/n didn’t understand what she had done in life to deserve this treatment. To have the recent events happen in her life. To watch her little brother almost die from a horrible fall, to then having to watch her father be executed, she didn’t know where her youngest sister was, she had to watch her other younger sister be tormented by a brat that was only going to become a awful king, and her older brother by a year had started a war to get them back with their mother by his side.
But how she had managed to have the Queen’s rath bestowed upon her in physical abuse. Y/n didn’t know how that happened and she knew for fact she hadn’t done anything to deserve it.
But Y/n had been in Kings Landing long enough to know that Cersei and Joffery didn’t need reasons to be cruel. It just seemed to be part of their personality.
Tyrion was the only kind one to Y/n and Sansa. Along with his friend Bronn and man servant Podrick. Y/n didn’t trust anyone else in the Red Keep.
Lately Y/n noticed Jaime, ever since he got back he had been trying to get close to her and Sansa. But neither Stark knew what to make of it. He really was trying to get closer to Y/n, but Y/n was worried that it was some kind of plan from Cersei.
It was a normal sunny day, Y/n actually thought it’d be a good day to go out and walk or ride but leaving her room? That didn’t feel like a good idea, given her appearance.
Suddenly in the incredibly quiet room there were sounds of knocking on her chamber doors. Y/n gave a soft ‘come in’, just loud enough for the person on the other side of the door to hear.
Upon seeing Jaime Lannister Y/n nervously started ringing her hands at what they might have planned for her now. “Ser Jaime. To what do I owe this visit to?”
Jaime shook his head. “I’m not here on any business.”
“Oh?” Y/n was curious but she still wanted to be cautious. So she kept her head down. For more than just that reason though.
Jaime noticed the way she was holding herself and it reminded him of a scared animal. So he raised his arms to show he didn’t mean her any harm. Her behavior made his eyes fill with concern. “Y/n, I’m not going to hurt you.”
Y/n realized that this could be very bad so she needed to back track. “Ser Jaime, I-I meant no o-offense.” She stuttered shaking her head but still keeping it down with her hair framing her face to cover her face from his view.
“You made none. No reason to apologize.” He quickly reassured.
As they stood there Jaime took more notice of things. Things that were making him more concerned by the second. So he took enough steps to be standing right in front of her.
“Y/n, look at me. Please.” Jaime asked, but when he noticed how she was so hesitant to do as he asked. Jaime slowly raised his hand to lift her chin, as gently as possible to not spook her. When she was finally looking him in the eye, face to face is when Jaime noticed. She has a bruised cheek bone which to him looked almost like it belonged to a fading black eye, and she had a cut on her eyebrow and her lip. No wonder she was hiding her face, he thought. “Who did this?”
“No one, Ser Jaime. I fell that’s all.” Y/n quickly tried to dismiss, hoping he’d let it go. If she said something and he was sent by Cersei, then it’d get worse. If he was genuinely concerned for her and she told him, he might not believe her. His twin sister did it after all.
“Please don’t lie to me, Lady Y/n.” He pleaded with her. His concern was growing more and more. But he also had his suspicions. “Who did this?”
Y/n cast her sight back down to the floor, not wanting to lie to his face. With how much genuine concern was in his eyes and actions, she felt bad lying to him. “No one, Ser.”
Jaime let out a sigh, he could clearly see she wasn’t going to verbalize her answer. Which inwardly gave him his answer anyway and he could feel anger bubbling up inside of him. He knew in his gut who did this, and he wasn’t going to let it go. “Can I see you later Milady?”
Y/n nodded, stepping back still not lifting her gaze. Of course she said he could. He seemed to be one of the only people who cared as of late, but also she didn’t really have a choice. Not in her situation. “If you so wish to, Ser Jaime.”
Her behavior honestly scared Jaime slightly. She didn’t seem like the same girl he met in Winterfell or the same one that was in Kings Landing when he lft and was captured.
Ever since that encounter Jaime had been visiting and spending a lot more time with Y/n Stark. No one would bother her with him at his side.
But Jaime had yet to have that talk with his sister. But today was the day, he had heard some concerning things from the handmaidens assigned to Y/n and he was fuming.
“Ah, brother. What is so urgent that you came barging into my chambers without knocking.” Cersei spoke sarcastically as he barged into her room.
“What did you do to Y/n Stark?” He asked, getting straight to the point, face red with anger.
“The little bitch. Well, what did she say?” Cersei scoffed at even turning to look at her brother.
“Nothing. She said nothing. I came here to you on my own.” Jaime wanted to yell, how could she be so cold.
“How do you know it was me? The girl is quite clumsy.” Cersei smirked, and Jaime wondered if Y/n’s excuse of falling was something she was told to say.
“Oh, I know your handy work when I see it.” He scoffed stating a fact that not even Cersei could argue with.
Cersei could tell he wasn’t gonna drop it once she looked at him, so she sighed and said. “I assure you she deserved it.”
“I can guarantee that she didn’t.” He countered. Jaime knew how petty his sister could be and revenge was something she enjoyed. She wasn’t going to fool him.
“You weren’t here.” She shook her head and growled out her words. Why was he even bringing this up?
“Doesn’t matter.” Jaime didn’t need to be there to know Y/n didn’t deserve his sister's warth.
“Why do you care for this girl?” Cersei asked with a furrowed brow.
“Cersei-”
“No. Why? Why do you care for her so much? After everything her family’s done to ours?!” She yelled at him getting up from her vanity table and stormed over to where he stood.
“She had no part in that!” He yelled back, done with trying to be social.
“Why do you protect her?!” Cersei spat with clear jealousy. Of course she noticed him protecting her but why was what she couldn’t figure out and that angered her more and more. Someone having her twin's attention other than her never sits well with the golden haired Queen.
“Don’t touch her again, Cersei. I mean it.” Jaime stated in a low voice. His expression and tone shocked Cersei. He’s never used either on her and deep down it did shake her a bit. He’s never been this mad at her, or this deeply apparently.
Jaime was going to make sure that Y/n was taken care of. No one would harm her ever again. That he’d promise her. Not even his sister. If Cersei did she’d regret it because he was done with her cruelness.
“And what will you do if I do decide to touch her again?” She questioned as he looked at her so seriously she honestly was starting to feel uncomfortable.
“You don’t want to find out.” He stated before turning to leave, as he opened the door Jaime felt pride in himself. He stood up to his sister for something he believed in.
“Is that a threat?” Cersei asked with narrowed eyes trained on her brother's back.
“Its a promise.” Jaime said before slamming her door behind him. He felt good and now he felt a weight lifted off of himself and Y/n. Sure he still had to watch their backs but Cersei wouldn’t do anything to go against him if she was as smart as she acts.
^ ^ ^
It had been a pretty normal day but Y/n just felt that they all blended together since so much had happened. Things had shockingly gotten better since Jaime and her had become close. But nothing good ever lasts is what she had learned being in King's Landing.
“Come in.” Y/n said upon hearing knocking at her room doors. She turned to face the door after hearing it open, seeing Jaime enter with caution. “Ser Jaime.”
“Lady Y/n.” He bowed his head with a soft smile on his lips, but as he looked around the room and noticed the uneaten food sitting on the table. Jaime’s concern came bubbling back up 10 fold. The handmaidens had told him she was skipping some meals and it worried him. But seeing it was worse. “The handmaidens said you haven’t eaten today.”
Y/n shrugged looking away from him. “Not very hungry.”
Jaime knew that part of it could be the stress of what's happened. It could also be her injuries that made it painful to chew, or it could be something Jaime really hoped it wasn’t. He didn’t even want to think about that idea.
Jaime stepped over to her, brushing her hair away from her face with his hand. Uncovering the still recovering injuries to her face. “Does it hurt?”
Of course it hurt still but he had been so kind to her she didn’t want to worry him. So she shook her head softly. “Not much anymore, Ser.”
“You don’t have to keep up the formalites with me, Y/n.” He smiled softly hoping to make her more comfortable around him. Show her he meant no harm.
“I shouldn’t-” She looked at him with wide scared eyes.
“I’m telling you you can. So you can.” Jaime stopped her calmly, looking her in the eyes. He could see how scared she was to do anything that might cause her to be harmed. Anything that might make it so she could be punished. “I won’t hurt you like my sister.”
“I-” Y/n’s eyes widened, just when he made her a little more comfortable again he say’s that. Y/n shook her head at him in fear. She didn’t tell him who did it so how did he know? Now that he knew what would happen to her? What would the Queen do to her now? Y/n was panicking on the inside.
“You didn’t have to tell me, and don’t worry I’ll protect you from Cersei.” Jaime told her, she had to know. But seeing her so panicked made his heart clench, so he started running his hand through her hair to comfort her and calm her nerves and mind. Jaime grimaced at her reaction for a second. This poor girl was terrified and it was all because of his family.
“How?” Y/n asked him while looking at him like he’s crazy. How could he, a knight, protect her from the Queen? Nobody could control Cersei.
“In any way I can, and I will. She will never harm you again. No one will. Not on my watch.” Jaime vowed to the poor girl that was stuck in this predicament. Not by her own choosing had any of this happened to her. And he was going to stop it and make her life better.
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Shanks Doesn’t Have A Dream! And I Can Prove It!
Ok, y’all, can I talk my shit again? Because I have thoughts and feels about our good old one-armed favorite disaster of a party pirate, Akagami (Red-Haired) Shanks. I’m going to be completely honest: I may have had this rant before, but I can’t find it, and no one else has this take. I need to talk about my vision of him that I’m like 60/40 percent sure is correct canon-wise and would explain so many of his—let’s call them quirks.
I think one of Oda’s beliefs and the teachings that One Piece has so blatantly told us about, such as personal freedom, charting your own destiny, and making your own adventure along the way, are a reflection of Shanks’ character as someone who never got that chance and never would. That, to me, makes him one of the saddest characters in One Piece.
Let me cook here. I’m not going to cite anything because I don’t want to, and I do that enough already in college, so we’re running on trust me: I’ve read the manga and watched a lot of theory videos. So lock in because this is gonna be long.
Anyways, back to my thesis. Shanks is a character of contradictions. He was the youngest person to ever become a Yonko (but then Luffy came in), probably one of the strongest men of his generation. He regularly fought the world’s strongest swordsman for fun. He has a crew whose members each have over a million bounties on their own and are so physically or politically strong that they can stop a war in its tracks just by waltzing in and saying "stop." Not only that, he stopped Kaido in his tracks and made him turn around. His father was the Pirate King and claimed him as his successor; he could even be tied to the Celestial Dragons. He’s charismatic, and when things need to get done, he gets down to business.
On the other hand, he’s also a goofy guy who regularly gets blackout drunk, has a horrible sense of pant style, parties his life away, and thinks bullying kids is the height of comedy. He cares about his kid to the point that he forgets to be a responsible Yonko but also wants to fight him for the One Piece. He seems so blasé about everything but is obviously, in the background, making connections and being all sneaky about something; he has plans but also didn’t decide to go after the One Piece until after his prime. He’s been stagnant but moving and shaking around the world, all for some big ideal, some big plan, something huge.
It is my stance, idea, theory, if you will, that all this makes sense if you look at it from the viewpoint that nothing—not the planning, not stealing the fruit, not the power growth, or making his way to Yonko status, not building his crew, even the hurry-up-and-wait—he’s been doing all these years, his whole life? Is because he’s hasn’t made a single decision for himself since Gol D. Roger died.
Outrageous! You cry! Shanks, a man who supposedly spouts on about being free and charting your own course and being a pirate? Is none of those things? Impossible, you will say. I will ask you how you got into my house and to please leave. But aside from the pirate bit, yes, and I can prove this. Calm my chili-baby’s and listen.
Yes, Shanks had his life taken from his adventure, his destiny set and marked right before the Loguetown execution. It is my belief that all this can be laid at the feet of—drumroll, please—Gol D. Roger himself!
Gasp! Crying! Fainting in the audience! I know, what a twist. Let me explain. In a flashback, we see Roger talking about Ace. It was Roger’s belief that Ace (his child) would be the savior of the world, the new Joy Boy, destined to destroy the World Government with what they learned from the Poneglyphs and Laugh Tale. He believed their generation was too early and that the next would usher in the new world. Ace would be his true successor. A little narcissistic, but a man like Roger probably couldn’t help but be. Not just that but it probably felt prophetic he found Laugh Tale of course that had to mean something?He was also dying as it was and put things in place for Ace to survive. He told Garp where he was so Garp could take him away with Rouge—a safety net, that sure was useful. Once she ya know, died.
With the understanding that the next generation would usher in the new age, Roger took aside a thirteen-year-old Shanks and revealed everything. He told him about the birth of the new Joy Boy, everything about Laugh Tale, and how he believed his son would usher in this age. I believe he gave Shanks this purpose: to pass on the straw hat to his son and help him become a man strong enough to fight the World Government. I think little traumatized Shanks, who is about to lose his father and has had the weight of the world put on his shoulders, takes it to heart and buries everything he is to fulfill his captain's last wish. And that’s horrible. I’ll get into the psychological implications later, but holy shit, Roger, what the fuck? He’s thirteen! And about to watch you die!
But yeah, doesn’t this make sense? Why the hell when Buggy wanted to go after the One Piece, did Shanks hold back and say they should wait, losing his brother because he has a secret his captain entrusted him with. Why the hell did they know about the Gum Gum Fruit and were searching for it? Why did Shanks spend so long on a little island like Fousha in the East Blue? Not only was he looking for the fruit, but he was also looking for Ace! (And maybe Rouge.)
Why has he been making all these connections but doing jack shit with them? Why did he become a Yonko but claim no territory for fucking years on end and do nothing really with his status? Why does he rely on such a small crew of such powerful individuals? Why does he party his life away, seem almost aimless, and not start to go after the One Piece until Luffy reaches Gear 5?
Because he’s the one to pass on the legacy; he’s the placeholder, a cog in the proverbial machine that is fate. He made sure Joy Boy would exist. And now that the dominoes have been placed and are falling fast, he’s going to challenge Luffy and make sure he’s strong enough to fight for it—strong enough to take on the World Government, the Celestial Dragons, and Imu—and then hand him a big red button to help do it afterward. That button will be all the sneaky shit he’s been doing in the background.
He’s been the bridge between his captain and this new age. Sure, it was too early, but his influence rippled out through the people he trusted and touched in his life. The same way Rayleigh trained Luffy, knowing what he was preparing him for in the next part of his journey, waiting years for him to arrive at Sabaody.
And all that needed to happen was the dreams, adventures, and sacrifices of a young boy. It’s almost poetic—a son for a son (or sun, in this case). My therapist says I make light of dark shit so I don’t have to emotionally feel the pain.
And now we get into the sad portion of today’s episode. Prepare the tissues because this is why I think Shanks is one of the saddest characters in One Piece.
Because think about it: Shanks’s life was charted for him; his adventure and future were stolen, decided with the reveal of Laugh Tale and all the secrets around it—everything, all so the next generation could one day rise up and bring a new dawn. Shanks never got to have a dream because it was stolen from him. He’s a walking, talking empty automaton, fulfilling his captain's dying promise made by a grieving thirteen-year-old.
He is dreamless, and for a man who is, in some sense, the freest in the world—can go anywhere, can do anything, is powerful enough to stop wars—he’s still trapped, chained to a future he can only wait for.
I don’t think he knows who he is outside of this. I don’t think he thinks he’ll live beyond it. (Which like I will fucking cry because this is gonna be kinda true.) I don’t even want to call it an ambition. Duty, maybe. Damned promise, more likely. And it’s ruined every relationship outside of it he’s ever had. Aside from one—
(Don’t even get me started on him and Mihawk and miscommunication, failed expectations, and Mihawk being the epitome of everything Shanks isn’t. With his dream chasing to the ends of the world, ending up unfulfilled and alone. Finding companionship and what he thought were similar drives in each other, but once Shanks lost his arm and his hat, he realized Shanks was never fighting for something he wanted. And it broke him a little; it broke their relationship—one of the only relationships Shanks chose for himself, with nothing to do with his mission.
And Buggy—he gave up his brother, was forced to leave him alone, and couldn’t say anything, couldn’t tell him the truth, couldn’t destroy his dream. And he couldn’t even be selfish enough to make him stay. Like, oh my God, the drama.)
Doomed yaoi aside, the only thing and person I think that messed up his perfectly made plans is Luffy.
Sweet baby Luffy wasn’t so sweet before the Red Force arrived. In the manga, it is mentioned that he was an angry, bitter child, lashing out almost like Ace to a degree. But Shanks, by just being kind, by being good, and by reaching out and teasing this little ball of anger, transforms him, saves him in a way. He gives him a drive, a dream, and a morality to live by. He gives him everything he never got—everything stripped from him. Shanks turns him into the type of person a special kind of Devil Fruit might call out to and get eaten by.
Nika chose Luffy because Shanks saved him by just being good and kind, giving this kid something beyond his anger and bitterness. Shanks gave Luffy the idea of freedom, and in return, he allowed Shanks’s perfectly clear mission to shatter. I think this Shanks makes the first real decision in his life: he goes, "Fuck, well, we’re backing this horse now," and Luffy becomes his child—not his captain's, but his future to bet on and help grow.
And I fucking love that. Luffy saves him just as he saved Luffy, in a way. And that’s his kid, his successor, more than it ever was for Roger. I will die on this hill. (If you want, you can even look at it as Shanks finally choosing a dream all his own and it’s Luffy.)
Will Oda see it this way? Probably not. He has a habit of brushing off stuff like this; I think he’ll make Shanks’s character into a noble man dedicated to stopping the World Government and not even think about the implications of tying all that to him at such a young age. But I do think Shanks expects to die when Luffy comes to fight; I think he wants to, just how Mihawk wants to die from Zoro’s blades. Because what is there beyond this? (And again, parallels!)
And I believe he will live! (Not Mihawk—he's gonna die.) Shanks will live, and symbolically, Luffy will free him from this self-imposed duty, this promise made by a child. Shanks will have made, even unwittingly, the thing that would free him, allowing him to move forward in a world where all the purposes he needs to find are his own.
And holy shit, that’s a lot for him, but then Blackbeard will happen, and he’ll die only having known freedom for a short while. Luffy will cry and create a new dawn, and it won’t be for nothing—except it will be for everything to Shanks.
In conclusion, Shanks doesn’t have a dream of his own. He never had a dream; if he did, it was squashed out of him in order to fulfill a promise set by his father, Gol D. Roger.
He loses his brother, loses his control over his destiny, and as his father sets such things into motion, Ace, Roger’s child, will become the new Joy Boy.
He makes a connection with someone outside of that mission and purpose, and in doing so, creates the opportunity for his own freedom and his own choice in Luffy.
Later down the line, Nika/Luffy will eventually free him in the same way he created his own freedom back then, giving him a new choice going forward. They will free him from the mission that was placed on his shoulders as a thirteen-year-old child, and afterwards, he will consequently be killed by Blackbeard, and everything will be horrible, and we will all cry. The end.
I hope everyone enjoyed this thesis on Shanks. Feel free to use it and steal it to your hearts content. I would love to write more if anyone has any questions or things they want to ask; I will be opening up my ask box for questions. I would love to go into more detail on his relationship with Luffy, his rivalry with Blackbeard, and how that ties into all of this, as well as his relationship with Mihawk (fuck man the parallels!!) or maybe Buggy. (Which I have less on it’s just really tragic.)
#one piece#op#opla#one piece theory#but yeah the only other person who knows the plan is Benn and I have sooo many thoughts about him#one piece spoilers#one piece characters analysis#akagami no shanks#red haired shanks#red force#the red force#op shanks#opla shanks#shanks character analysis#shanks analysis#shanks theory#character analysis#dracule mihawk#mishanks#shuggy#mentioned#buggy the clown#mihawk shanks#my thoughts#my rambles#no dream shanks theory#monkey d. luffy#nika op#nika#gum gum fruit
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it’s not inherently mischaracterization to write hms gore what matters is the way you do it. gore is a tool that can be amazing or horrible just like any other depending on the execution. pun. gore is not necessarily more shallow than anything else. no one is going around saying ‘stop writing fluff that’s shallow and only meant to make you feel good’, so why does this apply to gore? if this sounds either biased or targeted, that’s because it is :)
less briefly:
yes, gore can stem from Nothing, or mischaracterization. it can also stem from traits that the character has.
sure maybe ‘soul STABS MIND 3000 TIMES IN THE CHEST because ???? uh why not’ is a bad usage of gore, but consider ‘soul stabs mind to punish him for doing something minor (because he is desperate for heart and mind to stop their fights at all costs, and feels as if he has no power, and feels as if the only way to gain power is by making them afraid of him)’.
maybe this doesn’t fit with your specific idea of soul, but there is still character depth there.
<SIDE TANGENT>
what mischaracterization even MEANS is dependent on person to person, because, you know, PEOPLE GET DIFFERENT THINGS FROM THIS ALBUM, and they INTERPRET THE CHARACTERS DIFFERENTLY. additionally, what seems like ‘mischaracterization’ can just be what the author thinks they would react like when placed into a situation, which can be incredibly different from how they usually act! for example, both of my aus are based on how i think the characters would react whenever placed into situation x
(with maybe their characters tweaked a little, which is fine sometimes as long as you aren’t going to claim it’s canon. it’s fine to have headcanons. it’s fine to have different versions of hms(w) that aren’t specifically au. and people who are mad about it - which is a group that may include me, sometimes, i am aware - can be mad! and that doesn’t mean you’re wrong and that doesn’t mean you have to get out the ukelele and be like i’m sorry for having fun with the characters (when you Should be having fun with the characters and if you aren’t then maybe. stop?))
and in my aus they are incredibly different from canon hms! which isn’t a bad thing, it is the point!
anyway you aren’t morally bad for talking about the characters without cited sources. (the annoying part is whenever you act like you /are/ being objectively correct, and right about everything, whenever you’re clearly Doing Shit To Them (also sometimes maybe consider making an oc and whether that would be more fun than saying it’s hms. however you aren’t. morally corrupt. for not making an oc. it’s fine))
(again please don’t say people are morally corrupt for being wrong about the characters. they aren’t. it’s annoying but it’s not bad morally, and they don’t need to get hosed down for it. It’s Fine)
</SIDE TANGENT> (yes i can reclaim the html angle brackets because i know html /joke)
again, compare ‘heart and mind snuggle and don’t argue ever because ???? why not’ and ‘heart and mind snuggle and don’t argue ever because they’ve resolved their conflict, and don’t feel like they need to anymore’ (an attempt to keep the level of fluff while adding a reason- though i admit i’m not good at writing pure fluff), or ‘heart and mind snuggle and don’t argue ever because they’re tired of the pain and want just one moment of peace’ (something more similar to what i write that keeps bittersweetness/tension there).
if reasonless gore is bad, why isn’t reasonless fluff bad? if reasonless gore is ‘immature’, then isn’t is reasonless fluff also ‘immature’?
sure, maybe one is less shocking or more to your tastes than the other: it’s fine to have preferences. what i don’t agree with is saying one is horrible and the other isn’t.
my opinion is that we should stop saying anything that one writes is morally bad: and if you want to anyway, just keep the complaining (because that’s what this is) to friends you complain with, or discord servers meant for complaining, or complain on your own blog without maintagging it, rather than trying to set these rules of what one should and should not write upon the entire fanbase.
thank you (i bow and leave the stage) (ALSO STOP ACTING LIKE IT’S NOVEL TO THINK THAT HEART ISN’T AN UWU BABY OR MIND ISN’T A DEMON IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE FANBASE WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS. WE WERE GOING OVER THIS LAST YEAR. I AM SO TIRED OF PEOPLE MAKING THESE POSTS AND EVERYONE CONGRATULATING THEM OVER IT AS IF IT’S DESERVING OF THE NOBEL PRIZE)
#cccc#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#twig.txt#brainrot.exe#god i am so fucking tired of this fucking fandom#gore is based and real actually! i’m sorry! i’m soooo fucking sorry! but it is! for real!#/silly so don’t put me in the fuckign. shredder i said this was biased#oh also#pinned cycle
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I honestly feel like this is a very good end for Ace's arc.
Ofc I as much as anyone else who liked him (even if a little) wanted to see him grow.
Honestly initially I didn't like him too, and wanted him to die.
But this is such a an impactful death. Usually chapter 2 is my least favorite cause the first death hits hard cause it's the first and then the 3rd on hits hard cause it's more favs, the characters grow on you, and the motives get more desperate. But this time, chapter 2 was written to be such an impactful and drama filled chapter.
Again, I am sad to. I never thought I would ever become an Ace defender, and while I think that killing someone is a bit far, I can understand and see exactly why he did it. The signs were there from the beginning of the chapter.
I think that this is as satisfying as Ace's character can get. I'd rather not drag on his arc unnecessarily and it makes him a waste of a slot in the potential survivors list.
This is also (as I said in my previous post) the first time I cried for a killer. Ace had such a well written character, that even tho he did something so horribly wrong, I still feel bad for him. I feel almost like J at the end of the episode.
The DRDT Dev is TRUELY so talented cause no other fangame (and even the mainline series itself) has better writing than this. Everything is intentional and wonderful and it makes way for great twists, fabulous depth filled characters, and awesome episodes to watch.
Dispite being sad, I'm satisfied.
Thank you for changing my mind aboit you Ace Markey. Hope that your execution is super brutal so you are more tragic than you already are. (I have 2 bets on what his execution will be, let me know if I should post it)
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Honestly my biggest problem with self diagnosis is people deciding that they have something, inserting themselves into the community, and then acting like authorities on that condition and talking over people who actually have it.
I have autism and I'm really active in the communities so I'll use that as an example.
I very frequently see self diagnosed people insisting that being autistic is an amazing, wonderful superpower that causes them no problems whatsoever, and saying that the only reason it's considered a disability is because society is ableist.
They come into the community, see that the rest of us are struggling with our literal disability, and then go "Um, autism isn't a disability, it's amazing! I love being autistic, so if you don't, you just have internalized ableism and you hate yourself :)"
Which is, uh, certainly an interesting take considering the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-V and ICD-11 states that to be diagnosed with autism the symptoms must cause significant impairment.
And like, even if we did live in a magical utopia where autism is 100% accepted and no one is ever ableist (which will not exist in my lifetime, if ever), I would still hate being autistic!
I would still be unable to wear clothes that I want to wear or eat food that I want to eat because the texture makes me want to cry, and I would still have horrible meltdowns that result in me punching and biting myself.
We're also shamed and silenced for wanting actual, effective treatments, which is fucking insane. Why is it okay if I want medication to treat my ADHD, but if I want medication to stop my nervous system from overloading and breaking down over normal stimuli like wearing jeans or hearing a dog bark, I'm an evil ableist eugenicist?
I have no problem with people who take the time to read through the diagnostic criteria, read posts from people in the community, and then go, "Yeah, you know what, I've ruled out everything else it could be, I'm probably autistic."
But if someone's just going to watch a few Tiktoks with vague, cutesy symptoms and go "Omg I tap my fingers, that's stimming! And I really love cartoons, and I'm super shy and awkward sometimes! I'm definitely neurospicy :3" and then come into the community and demand that we sanitize everything and stop talking about our scary, yucky, unpleasant symptoms like incontinence and meltdowns and executive dysfunction, then yeah, get the fuck out.
--
It's always annoying when someone enters a space that's essentially about providing resources and starts hogging them or blocking others' access.
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MHA chapter 430
Finally the last chapter has arrived and ... Well it's underwhelming at best.
I already knew I wasn't going to like this chapter considering how things went in previous arcs but I just feel underwhelmed and indifferent.
So Izuku loses his quirk and then becomes a quirkless hero. I don't know this seems so.... Underwhelming no that's not the word so bleak, gloomy and sad?!?! I also hate the concept of iron Izuku with a passion!!!
Ochako starts a new quirk counselling campaign. This is good but it took that long?!?! I guess hawks was incompetent
All might and izuku parallels/foils will be forever going and I love that izuku used his analysis skills for the kid and I suppose hori tried to go with everyone can be a hero one way or another because the title of a hero isn't just based on the job heroics but how someone helps and saves people but I think that failed in execution.
I sense a change to momo's costume design. I like it
Wait so even ✨I can't stop twinkling✨ yuuga became a hero?!?! I thought he dropped out of the hero course and went to do something else.
Wait didn't shigaraki say he wanted to destroy everything??!? Shigaraki's goal never actually developed into a proper one where he wanted to destroy society and the aspects that hurt him. Well it kinda of did since he wanted to kill all might/destroy the pillar of society but that wouldn't cure the corruption and all that hurt others and shigaraki so why is Hori using it as a way to make it like shigaraki destroyed and izuku rebuilt?!?!
Kota is going to UA!!! Eri is going to a different high school in general
The leauge got a horrible end and the only thing we do know is that spinner wrote a book, compress is out of prison and read the book and that's it.
Well best thing that came out of this chapter was that
No ships were confirmed!!!
Bakugo didn't become number one and was just eluded to dropping down the ranks for his aggressive behaviour
Izuku managed to beat the fast food worker allegations and became a teacher and a pro hero
I think horikoshi forgot about izukus father but there was no point in seeing a deadbeat like that anyway.
#mha#mha critical#bnha critical#bnha#horikoshi critical#bhna critical#mha ending#mha 340#long ride#although i aint leaving this fandom anytime soon#i will probably move on to jjk and sxf#i have analysis i haven't posted so i will stick around
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